my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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