I feel like abortions should bother me more
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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