i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
