the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
