I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just gargled with NyQuil
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
