The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
