Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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