the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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