You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're completely useless in the revolution.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
