i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
