she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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