Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
