yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
