Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
