did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
