she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
