there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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