I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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