dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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