another moral hangover. fuck.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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