I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
