If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
