I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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