I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
