The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
