White coat. Heels.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
