wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
