Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
