I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
