are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
