Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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