operation harelip BJ is a go
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
