i already hear my dad disowning me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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