you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
third nipple confirmed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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