I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
