why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
