why didn't you poke me back
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was born a porn star she said
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize