Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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