I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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