You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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