hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pants are for mortals
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
