Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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