i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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