had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
