Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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