i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
