she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
