This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
