Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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