Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
